Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
