is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I wish i was in the wii world.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
