remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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