she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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