I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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