God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
