Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
