Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize