Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
