Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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