Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
he quoted the bible to break up with me
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize