My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
tequila makes me forget i have legs
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
