That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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