Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
