rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Congratulations! We have a period
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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