i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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