Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
