he puts the penis in happiness.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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