end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I wish you could order shots online.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
