So drunk its hurt
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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