Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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