come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just had sex on a roof
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
