Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I think my moral compass just broke
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