His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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