Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
