this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
