am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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