U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
she peed on how many people?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
