Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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