well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
