he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
God I need to hump something, right now.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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