Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
