We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
