Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
