Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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