Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
