By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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