I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize