She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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