was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
