I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Randomize
