if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
