Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
