I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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