So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I need moral support for this bender
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I think people are normalizing furries
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
