we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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