The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
