Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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