you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
