The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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