one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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