i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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