yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize