you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
