I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
