Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
