Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
