Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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