How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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