I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
