Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
