i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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