that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize