there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Randomize
