Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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