My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
