We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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