Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I don't think brook has ever known best
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
