she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
